Robots. So handy yet…scary. Maybe one day they will take over the world and become our overlords.
But until then, here are some awesome robot jokes to set your mind at ease and reboot you sense of humour.
Download these into your memory bank.
1. What is a robot’s favorite type of music?
2. How many robots does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three — one to hold the bulb, and two to turn the ladder!
3. Why did the robot go back to robot school?
Because his skills were getting a little rusty!
4. What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
5. What did the man say to his dead robot?
“Rust in peace.”
6. What’s a robot’s favorite book?
“Transform Yourself” by Anne Droid
7. Why did the robot sleep under a car?
He wanted to get up oily
8. Did you hear about the robot who farted in an elevator?
It was wrong on so many levels!
9. Why did the robot go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
10. Does R2D2 have any brothers?
No. Only transisters.
11. Why are robots shy?
Because they have hardware and software but no underware.
12. Why was the robot tired when it got home?
It had a “hard drive”
13. What do you call a pirate droid?
14. What happened when they shut down the robot highway?
You take the R2-Detour
15. Why is a droid mechanic never lonely?
Because he’s always making new friends!
16. Why did the droid cross the road?
Because it was programmed by a chicken.
17. What happens when a robotic arm gets sent to prison what happens?
It now has 0 degrees of freedom.
18. If your robot kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
19. What did the robot do at lunchtime?
Had a mega byte!
20. What do robots eat for snacks?
21. Did you hear about the robot pizza joke?
Never mind, its tooooo cheeeesy!
22. Whats the diff between a pizza and these robot jokes?
These robot jokes cant be topped!
23. What do robots wear when it snows?
24. Where do robots sit?
On their robottoms
25. Knock Knock
26. What happens when a robot falls into muddy waters?
It gets wet and muddy
27. What musical instrument do robots play?
28. What Android team won the Olympic water sports?
29. What kind of androids do you find in the Antarctic?
30. What did the baby robot call its creator?
31. Why was the android itchy?
It had roboticks.
32. Knock Knock
33. Why was the robot bankrupt?
Because it had to use all its cache.
34. Why did the robot marry his girlfriend?
Because he couldn’t resistor
35. Why do robots take holidays?
To recharge their batteries
36. I got a new robot dog last week. Its name is Dogmatic
37. Why did the droid cross the road?
Because it was programmed by a chicken
38. Why was the robot mad?
People kept pushing its buttons
39. How do robots drive?
They put their metal to the pedal
40. What did one robot say to the other after they got arrested by the police?
“At least we got charged.”
41. What do you call a family of Mexican-American robots?
42. What’s a robot’s favorite candy?
43. What haircut do rastafarian robots have?
44. A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks,
“What’ll ya have?” The robot says, “Well, it’s been a long day and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?”
45. What do you call an Indian robot killer from the future?
46. I just got a wireless robot the other day. You could say that our relationship comes with no strings attached.
47. Why did the robot go to the shoe shop?
To get rebooted
48. What do you call a lying robot with a positive outlook?
Optimist prime the deception-con
49. How did the robot vacuum the house?
50. What did the creator tell his egotistical robot?
You have got a chip on your shoulder
51. What is a restaurant for robots called?
52. Why did the robot eat a light bulb?
Because it wanted a “light” snack.
53. What did the robot order for take away?
Computer chips with a dessert of raspberry pi
54. What sound does a robot sheep make?
55. What famous robot wrote Phantom of the Opera?
Android Lloyd Webber
56. I’m starting to make a robot that has really high words per minute count.
He’s a pro-to-type.
57. My wife told me robots don’t wash themselves. So I put one in the bath and said “That’ll shower”
58. What do you call an angsty teenage robot?
A sigh borg.
59. What does a robot giving birth have?
60. I’m not saying all factory workers are robots…
All I’m saying is when they get to work they’ve returned to their factory setting.
61. A robot musician’s collection of instruments will never be complete. They can never get any organs.
62. Why do so many robots live in Africa?
63. What’s a robot’s favourite Mexican food?
64. I finally fulfilled my dream to become a half-cyborg! It did cost me an arm and a leg, though.
65. Two robots run in to a bar, the third one had a better driver
66. Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Becuase they have a break down
67. How did the robot get across the river?
In a ro-boat.
68. What’s a robot’s favourite dance?
69. What’s a robot’s favourite exercise?
70. Knock knock.
71. Knock knock.
72. Knock knock.
Why are you telling knock knock jokes? There’s a robot invasion.
73. Why does everyone fall asleep in Professor Robot’s flying class?
Because he drones on and on.
74. How did the robot’s teacher mark his book?
75. What name should you never call a robot?
76. What do robot pine trees grow?
77. Why are robots never lonely?
Because there R2 of them.
78. What do you call an invisible droid?
79. I bought one of those early 2000s robot dogs but have nowhere to charge it I need to find a pug socket
80. Why did R2D2 walk out of the pop concert?
He only likes electronic music.
81. What do you call a frozen droid?
An ice borg.
82. Why do robots never use bank cards?
They always pay with cache.
83. What restaurant did the robot go to?
84. What do you call it when two robots go to a restaurant?
A dinner data.
85. Why was the robot banned from driving?
She beeped too much.
86. Why did the robot run away?
It heard an electric can opener.
87. What kind of salad do androids like?
Ones made with ice-borg lettuce.
88. What do they do every summer in robot neighborhoods?
Have a ro-block party.
89. Why wasn’t there an oil can in the X-wing fighter garage?
90. What did the robot say when he was asked to shut down?
91. How do you reboot a robot?
You kick it in its robutt.
92. Knock, Knock.
Bb-8 nobody, I hope!
93. How do baby robots drink milk?
From a robottle.
94. What excuse did Ray give for not having her homework?
95. Where do all the geeky robots like to hang out?
96. In a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down. The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
97. Why do robots like pancakes?
Because they are batter-y.
98. Why couldn’t the robot get away?
Because he got CAPTCHA’d.
99. How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?
Press the paws button.
100. How do you know when you’re in love with a robot?
You feel a little spark.
Okay. It’s time for us to shut down the system.
When the robots do take over, you can share these jokes them and win the cyborgs over.