The Best Bone Rattling Skeleton Jokes

Skeletons can seem pretty creepy. Especially if  you have plenty in your closet. Yet,  they can also provide you with a lot of humerus. 

Let’s not drag the bone around any longer. Enjoy these 100 skeleton jokes that are bound to cause raise teeth-chattering guffaws.

1. What did the skeleton say before dinner? 

BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.

2. Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?

Because he’s dead.

3. What do skeletons hate the most about wind? 

Nothing, it goes right through them.

4.  What do you call a skeleton with no friends? 

Bonely

5.  Why did the skeleton not rob the bank?

He did not have the guts!

6. Why are skeletons so calm? 

Because nothing gets under their skin

7. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?

A trom-bone

8. What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? 

A numb skull!

9. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? 

Spareribs.

10.  What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?

A S-pine tree.

11. What do you call a skeleton’s omelet?

A Bonelet

12. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? 

Because he had nobody to dance with.

13. Why did the skeleton not obey the rules? 

He was bone tiba wild

14. What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

Will you marrow me?

15. A skeleton walks into the hospital and said “Doctor, doctor!  I broke my leg” The doctor said  “I see…”

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16. What instrument can a skeleton never play?

An organ.

17. How much work does a skeleton get done? 

A Skele-ton.

18. Why did the skeleton go to jail? 

Because he was bad to the bone!

19. What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?

Noise

20.  How did the skeleton know it would rain 

He could feel it in his bones.

21. When does a skeleton laugh? 

When someone tickles his funny bone!

22. What do you call a skeleton that doesn’t do anything?

Lazy bones.

23. How do skeletons talk to each other? 

By the telebone.

24. Why do Skeletons hate the cold?

It sends chills up their spine

25. How did the skeleton win the girl? 

He was humerus

26. What do you call a skeleton snake? 

A rattler!

27. Why did the skeleton eat tacos?

Because he was hungry!

28. What does a skeleton call his great grand parents?

A fossil.

29. Why did the skeleton cross the road? 

To get to skull (school).

30. Who was the most famous skeleton detective in the world? 

Sherlock-bones.

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31. What do you call a skeleton with no arms?

 An unarmed skeleton.

32.  A skeleton had a job interview but he looked messy. I had to fix his collarbone.

33. Why didn’t the skeleton follow his dreams? 

He was too gutless.

34. Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? 

Because a dog was after his bones! 

35. Did you hear about the skeleton that dropped out of medical school? 

He just didn’t have the stomach for it. 

36.  Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs? 

He marrowly escaped. 

37. What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire for too long? 

He became bone dry 

38. Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton? 

A rib cage.

39. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? 

Nobody. 

40. What do skeletons say as they head out to sea? 

Bone voyage!

41. How did skeletons send mail in the old days? 

The bony express!

42. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? 

You suck.

43. Who is the most famous French skeleton? 

Napoleon bone-apart.

44.  What kind of plate do skeletons eat on? 

Bone china.

45. What type of art do skeletons like? 

Skulltures!

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46. Why did the skeleton go to the dance? 

To see the boogie man.

47. How do skeletons say hello? 

Bonejour.

48. What do old skeletons complain about? 

Aching bones.

49. What do you call a skeleton who uses a doorbell? 

A dead ringer.

50. What do skeletons use to get into their homes?

Skeleton keys!

51. Why did the skeleton cross the road? 

To get to the body shop.

52. Why do skeletons like to drink milk? 

Because milk is so good for the bones!

53. Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school? 

He was boning up for his exams!

54. What did the angry skeleton yell at the man?

“I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

55. Who is a skeleton’s favorite singer?

Bone Jovi.

56. What did the skeleton say to the lying ghost?

I can see right through you.

57. What happened when the werewolf attacked the skeleton?

It ran off with the skeleton’s bones and didn’t leave him a leg to stand on.

58. What did the skeletons dress up as on Halloween?

Humans 

59. What is the skeleton’s favorite toy?

His deady bear.

60. What do you call a tiny lie told by a skeleton?

A little fib-ula.

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61. Why was the skeleton lonely?

He had nobody to love.

62.  What is a good Valentine’s gift for a skeleton?

Bone-bones in a heart-shaped box.

63. What did the skeleton whisper to his wife?

I love every bone in your body!

64. Who is the King of Rock and Roll for all skeletons?

Pelvis

65. Why was the student skeleton doing extra credit work after class?

He wanted the Bone-us points.

66. What has 1854 bones and is still able to catch flies?

A skeleton baseball team.

67. What did the golden retriever say to the skeleton?

Throw a dog a bone!

68. What room in the house do skeletons avoid?

The living room.

69. What’s a name for skeletons living on an island?

Thoracic Park

70. Why are skeletons bad miners?

Because they stop digging at six feet under.

71. Where do teenage skeletons go for class?

Highskull.

72. Do you know why skeletons have short memories?

It’s a no-brainer.

73. How come groups of skeletons don’t get any work done?

Because they are a skeleton crew.

74. What do you get when you pat a skeleton on the back?

A spinal tap.

75. Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?

She was bone tired!

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76. Why couldn’t the skeleton get through airport security?

He was armed with shoulder blades!

77. Why did the skeleton want to go out to the nightclub?

He heard it was a hip joint.

78. What is a skeleton’s favorite fruit?

Spineapple.

79. What’s the name of the famous American rapper skeleton with the initials MGS.

Machine Gun Skelly

80. What’s a skeleton’s favorite ranged weapon?

A bone and marrow.

81. Where’s the coolest part of a skeleton?

Its hip.

82. How do you know if a skeleton is sick?

He will be laying in a coffin.

83. Why wasn’t the criminal skeleton afraid of the police?

He knew they couldn’t pin anything on him.

84.  What do you call a skeleton found in the closet?

Last year’s Hide-and-Seek Champion.

85. What do you do when your home is surrounded by skeletons?

You hope it’s Halloween!

86. What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks? 

It came back with a skeleton crew!

87. Skeleton 1: Why are graveyards so noisy? 

Skeleton 2: I dunno. Why? 

Skeleton 1: Because of all the coffin.

88.  Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees? 

They’re LUMBARjacks!

89. Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?

Because it has a marrow waistline.

90. What does a skeleton sing?

A skeletune

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91. What does a skeleton get in the sun?

A skeletan

92. How high can a skeleton count?

To skele-ten

93. What is a skeleton’s favorite color?

Bone White

94. How does a skeleton get from one floor to another?

He uses a skelevator

95. What do you see at the skeleton’s circus?

A big skelephant

96. How does a skeleton sandwich taste?

Crunchy

97. What do skeletons have nightmares of?

Dogs

98. Where did the skeleton plug in his toaster?

In his eye socket

99. What fruit do skeletons love?

Bone-anas

100. What do skeletons eat for breakfast?

Bone-nuts (Donuts)

Well, that was a lot of fun. But it’s time to rest these weary bones. 

Which jokes did you like the most? Don’t give us a ribbing though in your reply.