Bears. So adorable yet they can be scary if they miss out on their picnic. If you have a case of a bear with an attitude, you can cheer them up with these jokes.
So Chuck some honey on that piece of bread slip it into your hamper and then head out to the woods and enjoy telling one another these…
1. What to polar bears eat for lunch?
2. What do you call a polar bear on thin ice?
An ice breaker
3. What do polar bears like to eat in the cold? A “brrr”-“grrr”!
4. Who is a polar bear’s favorite pop star?
5. Why do you never invite polar bears to parties?
Because they never break the ice
6. What did the seal with the broken arm say to the polar bear?
Do not consume if the seal is broken
7. Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white
8. What happened when the koala applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied
9. Did you hear about the grizzly who dyed her fur?
She was bearly recognisable
10. Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares
11. What’s a grizzly’s favorite thing to draw?
12. What’s a cub’s favorite after-school activity?
13. Who’s a bear’s favorite poet?
14. What is a bear’s favorite soda?
15. Why was the grizzly wearing a tank-top?
He heard he had the right to bear arms!
16. What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles
17. Why did the koala quit his second job? Because he needed some koalaty time with his family
18. What did the pessimistic grizzly say?
“It’s just not pawsible!”
19. What do you call a grizzly bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear
20. What animal has the softest bite?
21. Why did the bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar
22. Why did Mother Nature make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when she tried to make a second one she made a Boo-Boo
23. How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!
24. Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
25. What did the teddy bear say after dinner?
26. Why did the bear cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
27. What do you call bears without ears?
28. What does Pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie
29. Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh
30. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear faced lyre!
31. What do you call a freezing bear?
32. How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul
33. What do you call a grizzly bear in a phone booth?
34. Did you hear about the bear that came last in the race?
He bearly made it
35. What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
36. What do you call a wet bear?
A drizzly bear
37. Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Because they would look weird in ski jackets
38. What does Pooh Bear call his significant other?
39. What do you get when you cross a teddy bear with a wild hog?
A teddy boar
40. Why was the bear cub so spoiled?
Because his mother panda’d to his every whim!
41 What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
42. What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news
43. Where do teenage polar bears go to dance?
44. What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
45. What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas
46. What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear
47. How do bears travel when they go on vacation?
48. How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands
49. Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only
50. Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch
51. Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium!
52. How did the grizzly bear walk in the snow?
53. Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
54. What color socks do bears wear?
None. They usually have bear (bare) feet
55. Why do bears have a hairy coat?
56. Where does a polar bear go to vote?
The North Pole
57. What do pandas pack for camping trips?
The best necessities
58. What do you need for a wedding in the jungle?
A flower gorilla and a ring bear
59. Why did the panda get fired from their job?
He could only do the bear minimum
60. Why do polar bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place
61. How do you fry a black and white bear?
With a pan-duh
62. What do you do if you find a bear in your toilet?
Let it finish
63. Why shouldn’t you take a bear to the zoo?
Because they’d rather go to the cinema!
64. How did the panda lose his dinner?
He was “Bamboozled”!
65. Have you ever hunted bear?
No, but I’ve been shooting in my shorts!
66. Did you hear about the man who tried to feed a grizzly an Apple?
It didn’t bear fruit
67. What do you call a bear that changes his mind every couple of minutes?
A bi-polar bear
68. When does a bear play the harmonica?
69. What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
70. What time is it when a bear sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed!
71. Why did the bear get so scared?
Because he looked in the mirror
72. What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear!
73. How to bears keep cool?
They use bear-conditioning
74. What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear!
75. What bear goes around scaring other animals?
Winnie the Boo!
76. What did the Panda give his mommy on Mother’s Day?
A bear hug
77. What do grizzlies do when they are having a bad day in the forest?
Grin and bear it
78. What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both have stuffing
79. What’s brown, furry and has twelve paws?
The Three Bears!
80. Why was the polar bear relaxed when watching TV?
Because he found a cool channel
81. Did you know that Bruce Lee once owned a pet bear?
Its name was Grizz Lee!
82. How do bears find a place to hibernate?
83. It’s not hard to survive a bear attack…
so long as you do the bear minimum.
84. Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more humanlike.
… unfortunately the result was unbearable
85. What’s the most stupid animal in the jungle?
The Polar Bear
86. Did you hear about the bear who got lost?
He had lost his bearings
87. What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a polar bear ?
You get killed and eaten
88. What is a grizzly bear’s favorite food?
89. What is a black bear’s favorite food?
90. What do you call a bear with four arms, four legs, and four sets of eyes?
91. What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
92. I told my teddy bear it was cute.
93. What happens to polar bears if they sit on ice too long?
They get Polaroids
94. Knock knock
95. Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
96. What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear
97. Why don’t we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable
98. What is the name of the bear capitol?
99. What is a grizzly bear’s favorite venue?
100. Why did the bears cancel the picnic?
The weather forecast said that it was going to be grizzly all day.
Time to head back home.
Make sure you don’t dawdle or do a Goldilocks and enter the wrong house. The results could be grizzly.