Pigs are more than just a yummy meal served with roast veggies. They can make adorable pets and provide you with a load of laughs.
Get a load of these pig jokes that will have your tail curling in delight.
1.Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
2. What do you call a laundromat for pigs?
3. I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
4. What do you call a pig thief?
5. Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
6. How do pigs get to the hospital?
7. How do pigs write top-secret messages?
With invisible oink!
8. Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
9. Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
10. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
11. Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging the food.
12. I was walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me.
It was a hambush.
13. What do you call a Spanish pig?
14. What kind of work do pigs do after school?
15. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
16. What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
17. Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
18. What do you give a sick pig?
19. What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
20. What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
“Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
21. How does a young pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
22. What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
23. What did one pig say to the other?
Let’s be pen pals.
24. What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
25. Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop?
He called it “Ham Hocks”
26. A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of Swine Lake.
27. Why was the piglet whining?
He was boared out of his brains.
28. What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
29. What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
30. I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
31. What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
32. What did the mother pig say to her son?
You’re a sloppy eater
33. How do you fit more pigs onto a farm?
Build a skyscraper.
34. What do you call a pig with no legs?
35. Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
36. What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
37. What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
38. Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
39. A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
40. What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
41. What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
42. Where do flying pigs go?
Hogwarts, of course!
43. What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
44. What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as?
45. What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
46. How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
47. What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
48. What do you call a pig with three eyes?
49. What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
50. What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
51. Knock, knock!
Pig on someone your own size!
52. What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
53. In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
54. Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
55. What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
56. What do you call a pig who has a big problem?
57. What is a pig’s favourite colour?
58. Who is the smartest pig in the world?
59. Where do pigs meet up?
At the meet market.
60. What do Bad Piggies like to do?
Squeal the Spotlight
61. What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
A pig tail!
62. Where can a pig see the Statue of Liberty?
New Pork City
63. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
A Porkasaurus Rex!
64. Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf like to read?
65. What do you call a pig with a rash?
Ham and Eczema
66. What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?
67. Why did the farmer call his pig ink?
Because it would always run out of the pen!
68. Why should you never tell pigs a secret?
Because they love to squeal!
69. Why did the farmer make the pigs do the paperwork?
Because it was grunt work
70. What do you call a trendy pig?
71. How do you stop a warthog from charging?
Take his credit card away!
72. Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell in the mud
73. Do you want to hear a clean joke?
A pig took a bath.
74. What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of bacon would skyrocket.
75. What do you call a black pig standing in the hot sun all day?
76. What did the cow say to the pig?
77. What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you!
78. Why did the pig go to the doctor?
He had a sty in his eye
79. Why did the mother pig say to her son?
Your room looks like a pigsty!
80. What do you call a bad pig?
A filthy swine.
81. What is a pig’s favourite hobby?
82. Yesterday a pig showed me around his new home.
It was quite sty-lish
83. What do you call a young thespian pig?
84. Knock! Knock!
Oink oink who?
Make up your mind are you a pig or an owl?
85. Why should you never share a bed with a pig?
Well, they’ll hog the covers!
86. What do you call a sunburned pig?
87. I saw a stage production of “The Three Pigs” yesterday.
The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.
88. What is a pig’s favourite sport?
89. What happened when the pig pen broke?
The pig had to use a pencil!
90. How do pigs talk to each other?
With swine language.
91. What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
You take me for grunted.
92. I once met a pig that made horse noises.
It was my neighbour.
93. They say “when pigs fly” means impossible
But how come we have swine flu?
94. What is Peppa Pig’s favourite food?
95. What do you call a pig with fleas?
96. What happened when the pig was out in the sun too long?
It started crackling
97. What is a pig’s favourite drink?
98. What does a mommy pig say to her piglets at the end of the day?
Time to pig up your toys.
99. What’s a pig’s favourite social gathering?
A swine and cheese party.
100. Where do pigs keep their money?
In a piggy bank.
Right, it’s time to head back to the sty for some R&R (rolling in mud and running through the sty).
Hope you snorted with laughter with the pigs-inspired hilarity we served up for you.
It’s time for us to hit the hay.