Potatoes are a staple diet food. They also offer a range of options for use: You can chop them, slice them, bake them or mash them.
Also, you can laugh at them because they are so darned funny. If you don’t believe us, check out this range of spud inspired hilarity.
1. Why was the potato scared?
Because its car was tatering on the edge of the cliff
2. What do you call a baby potato?
3. What’s a potato’s favourite horror movie?
The Silence of the Yams.
4. Which disease is the biggest killer of potatoes?
5. What do you get when you put an elephant and a load of potatoes together?
6. Who is the most powerful potato?
7. Why was the potato taken to a psychiatric hospital?
It was starch raving mad.
8. I met a girl that owned three french-fry factories.
I was impressed, but to her, it was just small potatoes.
9. Why shouldn’t you give a zombie mashed potatoes?
Because they’re already a little grave-y.
10. What do you call a yam with a broom?
A sweep potato.
11. What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.
12. Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
13. How does a potato win at Street Fighter?
By mashing the kick button.
14. What do you get when you cross a tater with a race car?
15. What does a potato say on a sunny morning?
What a mashing day!
16. I yam always very happy…
to eat sweet potatoes.
17. What do you say to a baked potato that’s angry?
Anything you like, just butter it up
18. What’s a potato’s favorite TV show?
19. What do you call a chip with glasses?
20. What do you call a lazy spud?
A couch potato.
21. What do you call a lethargic baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
22. What do you call a good-looking french fry?
A hot potato.
23. What do you call potatoes with right angles?
24. What do you call a potato that’s reluctant to jump into boiling water?
25. What do you call a person who spends a lot of time sitting and staring at potatoes?
26. What do you call a potato at a football game?
27. What do you call a fake potato?
28. What do you call a potato that’s always looking for a fight?
29. What do you call a spinning potato?
30. What do you call a chip that makes fun of you?
31. How do you know a potato is in a bad mood?
When they’re acting salty.
32. All potato puns are…
pomme de terrible.
33. Why did the potato salad blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
32. Who is a potato’s favourite author?
Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
33. Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.
34. What do you use to carry potatoes?
A tater tote.
35. What did the sweet potato say to the regular potato?
“I yam what I yam”.
36. What do you call a baby potato?
37. A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.
She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet?”
He said, “It’s just the way I yam.”
38. What do you get after a potato rainstorm?
39. Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off?
It was decap-potatoed.
40. What did the father potato say to his daughter before her football game?
I’m rooting for you.
41. What do you call a first aid vehicle made out of potatoes?
42. What’s a potato’s least favorite dance?
The Mash Potato.
43. Why did I win the potato-hiding contest?
Because my carbo-hide-rate was so good.
45. Why does everyone love sweet potatoes?
46. What’s a potato’s favourite song to dance to at a Halloween party?
The “Monster Mash.”
47. What’s the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?
Anyone can mash potatoes, but no one can pea soup.
48. What is a potato’s life philosophy?
I think, therefore I yam.
49. “How was your day?” The steak asked the gloomy potato.
The potato replied, “It was tater-ible.”
50. Why does everyone love cooking with potatoes?
They’re very a-peeling.
51. Why didn’t the potato want his daughter to marry the news reporter?
Because he was a commen-tater.
52.Why did the French fry win the race?
Because it was fast food.
53. What do potatoes eat for breakfast?
Pota-toast with jelly.
54. What instrument does a spud play?
55. How did the burger propose to the fry?
With an onion ring
56. Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
57. Why can’t a farmer keep secrets on her farm?
Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
58. Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a common-tater.
59. What do you call a french dog that loves potatoes?
A pomme de terrier.
60. What kind of potato would Kim Jong Un be?
61. What do you call a potato that gets things done?
62. Mr. Potato Head’s wife is upset.
She claims he won’t tater anywhere.
63. What do you call a passenger train made out of sweet potatoes?
64. Why did the sea monster eat twelve ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship!
65. How did the Irish potato become bilingual?
He became a French Fry.
66. Russia decided to launch a satellite full of potatoes into orbit to see
what would happen. It’s called the SPUDnic.
67. What is the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and one’s a yeeted ham.
68. A guy goes into a store and asks if they sell Potato Clocks.
The assistant says “Sorry sir, we don’t. We have battery clocks, electrical clocks, wind up clocks. In fact, I’ve never heard of a potato clock.” The man says…
“Neither have I, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow and my wife said I should get a potato clock.”
69. Why didn’t the potato chips believe anything the sandwich said?
Because the sandwich was full of baloney
70. Two Amish women are digging potatoes in a field.
The first turns to the other, hefts two large taters, and says “These potatoes remind me of my Jacob”.
The second replies “They’re that big?”
“No”, the first says. “They’re that dirty.”
71. What’s a spud’s least favourite dance?
The mashed potato.
72. What do you say at a restaurant when they ask whether you want salad or chips?
I’m not taking sides.
73. I saw some crisps strolling down the road and offered them a lift
No thanks”, they said, “we’re Walkers”
74. What do you say when someone tells you French fries are cooked in France?
You say, “No they’re not, they’re cooked in Greece”.
75. I know potato jokes have been made
I’m just here to rehash them
76. What do you call potatoes that have gone over to the dark side?
77. What do you call a Trans potato?
A French fry
78. What did the potato say to its girlfriend?
I only have eyes for you
79. What did the potato say when it left its friends?
See ya tater.
80. What do you call a potato after it’s been chopped up?
81. What do you call a monkey that sells chips?
82. Why did the pie cross the road?
She was meat an potato.
83. What do you call a potato crossed with a reptile?
84. What did the sick potato say?
I’m not peeling well.
85. What do you get when you cross a llama and a sweet potato?
You get a Yyama!
86. What do you call a potato that makes videos for the internet?
87. Dad: Son, you know what? Back in my days, I walk into a store just with a single dollar and come home with a bag of potato chips and two chocolate bars.
Now they have cameras everywhere.
88. What’s the difference between the winner of a bodybuilding competition and a couch potato?
One has a trophy for muscles and the other has muscle atrophy.
89. I couldn’t find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they’d seen it…
Apparently, she left me two days ago
90. Three thieves went for thieving at a potato farmers house.
They went into the storage to steal some potatoes. But after a while, the farmer eventually woke up. So, got into the storage to check what’s happening. No options left, three thieves hid themselves into three different potato sacks.
The farmer poked the first sack and the first thief said “Meow!” like a cat.
“You moron! Cats don’t hide into potato sacks!” said the farmer and caught the first thief.
The farmer poked another sack and the second thief barked like a dog.
“You idiot or something? Dogs don’t hide into potato sacks!” said the farmer and caught the second thief.
Then, the farmer poked another sack. This time, the third thief made no mistake, and screamed, “Potato! Potato!!”
91. What did the high potato say to the russet potato?
92. I have a compulsion to hurt myself with lumpy potatoes.
I think I’m a mashochist.
93. Sad news today, folks. Mr. Potato Head died.
He had brain tubers.
94. My wife said, “Why are all the potatoes burnt to a crisp?”
I said, “That’s for tomorrow.”
My wife: Huh?
Me: It’s Black Fry Day.
95. What goes through a potato’s brain?
96. Did you hear about the sweet potato truck that crashed on the interstate?
It caused a huge traffic yam.
97. Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr Onion Rings
98. Waiter! These potatoes taste powdery.
Yes sir. We use only the finest ingredients.
99. How do potatoes get to space?
Using the Starchship Enterfries
100. I went out for dinner. After my meal, my waiter asked me how I found my steak. I said “I lifted the baked potato and there it was.”
That’s the end of the row for these potato jokes. It’s time to put them in the sack and store them away for another day.
Let us know which ones you enjoyed the most.