Chickens. So cute. So feathery. So…delicious. But there is more to a chicken than just it’s looks and taste. They are also good for a laugh.
Here we have scratched up a bunch of chicken jokes that will having you clucking with laughter. Baste yourself. Rustle your feathers and let’s go…
1. Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide!
2. Why are chickens good at drumming?
Because they have drumsticks.
3. Why didn’t the hen yell at her friend when she was really angry?
She was too chicken.
4. Did you know chickens can jump higher than a house?
True. Houses can’t jump.
5. What animal gets easily offended?
The chicken; they always get roasted.
6. What did the chicken say when it laid a square egg?
7. Why shouldn’t you tell an egg a joke?
Because it might crack up!
8. Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
9. Why did the chicken cross the road ten times?
Because his suspenders were hooked to the light post!
10. Why do chickens hate it in winter?
They feel cooped up.
11. Knock, Knock.
Just chicken to see who’s in there.
12. Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she was getting tired of just standing there
13. Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
14. Why did the fox cross the road?
To look for the chicken.
15. Why did the cactus cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chicken’s back.
16. Where are chicks born?
17. What did the rooster say to the chicken?
You are impeck-able
18. What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender
19. Did you hear about the chicken police investigating a stolen egg from the coop?
They suspect fowl play.
20. Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
21. How do you keep a chicken in suspense?
I’ll tell you later.
22. What do you get when a pig and a chicken bump into each other?
Ham and eggs!
23. Why did the baby chick cross the road?
It was take-your-child-to-work day.
24. Did you hear about the rooster who won the prize for the best bird?
He became very cocky.
25. If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.
26. What does an evil hen lay?
27. Knock Knock!
King Tut! King Tut who?
King Tutty Fried Chicken!
28. Why did the boy put a chicken in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant.
29. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
30. Why did the chicken go to KFC?
To visit his family
31. How do chickens get stronger and stronger?
They egg-cersize everyday!
32. Who tells the best chicken jokes? Comedi-hens!
33. Knock Knock
Susan Susan Who?
Season Your chicken it’s too plain!
34. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
35. What do you call a chicken that haunts you?
36. What does a chicken say when he didn’t understand something?
37. If chickens wake up when the rooster crows, then when do ducks wake?
At the quack of dawn.
38. Why did the chicken end up in the soup?
Because it ran out of cluck!
39. What happened when the chicken ate cement?
She laid a sidewalk!
40. What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck!
41. What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
She was tickled to death!
42. Why didn’t the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Because he didn’t have enough guts
43. Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep!
44. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A bird that lays down!
45. What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs
46. What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck!
47. Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
He wanted to lay it on the line!
48. What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics!
49. What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
50. What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
51. What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
52. What does an alarm cluck say?
53. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
54. How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck!
55. Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
56. What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
57. Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be!
58. Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken!
59. What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
60. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs.
61. Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would Caesar!
62. What do you call a frightened Scuba Diver?
Chicken of the sea.
63. What do you get where your cross achicken with a guitar?
A chicken that makes music when you pluck it!
64. What do you get when you cross a dog with a chicken?
A hen that lays pooched eggs.
65. What goes peck, peck, peck, boom?
A chicken in a mine field.
66. What Is Chicken Teriyaki?
The name of the oldest living kamikaze pilot.
67. What car do chickens love?
68. What Is the difference between an elephant and a chicken?
An elephant can get chicken pox but a chicken can’t get elephant pox.
69. Why did the rooster run away?
He was chicken!
70. What do chickens grow on?
71. Psychiatrist: What’s your problem?
Patient: I think I’m a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
72. A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!”
The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”
“Two years,” says the man.
“Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.
The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, “We needed the eggs.”
73. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
74. Why does a rooster watch TV?
75. How do chickens dance?
Chick to chick!
76. Which dance will a chicken not do?
77. What did the sick chicken say?
I have the People Pox
78. How does a chicken mail a letter?
In a HEN-velope.
79. Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’ll break.
80. How do chickens bake a cake?
81. Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
82. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cow?
83. What do you get if you cross a LandRover with a baby chicken?
84. What is Superchicken’s real identity?
85. Why did the rooster file for divorce?
He was tired of being hen-pecked.
86. What do you call a chicken with a disability?
87. What do call a chicken that got too close to a nuclear plant?
88. Why did the rooster stay inside during the blizzard?
It was ‘fowl’ weather.
89. What does a chicken wipe his beak with?
90. What time do chickens go to lunch?
Twelve o cluck.
91. How do you know when a chicken is under arrest?
She’s wearing hencuffs.
92. What do you call a joke book for chickens?
A yolk book
93. What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, dad, look what marma-laid!
94. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chicken?
It kept saying ”Bach, Bach, Bach…”
95. What do you call the chicken that crossed the road?
Poultry in motion.
96. Did you hear about the farmer who put a sign in his chicken coop?
It said, “EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HENS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK.”
97. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A chicken sand-witch.
98. What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was eggspelled.
99. Why should a school not be near a chicken farm?
So the pupils don’t overhear fowl language.
100. Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
Hope you had a man eggs-cellent time with those jokes. Don’t be too chicken to share them with your friends and family.
It’s time to head for the roost and settle down.